The Four Horsemen

I learned from reading The Seven Principles to Making Marriage Work (this is seriously my new favorite book) and through tracking myself that I am a terrible person. My husband doesn’t know how to show his emotions let alone tell me what I am doing that is hurting him and I have been trying to figure it out with no luck. However, when I read this book and started tracking myself I saw not only that I use always and never a lot but also that I criticize my husband not complain, I am defensive, and sometimes I even have contempt for him. The reason that our problems were not getting solved was because of the way I was talking to him. When I read these it was honestly a prayer that was answered from God because now I know what I am doing to hurt my husband and I can change it and hopefully if I do it right he will feel comfortable opening up to me about what I am doing that is hurting him. I never wanted to hurt him I just didn’t know what I was doing to hurt him and he couldn’t tell me which is why I am a terrible person. This was one of those lessons that are hard to learn where you so frustrated that your husband isn’t talking to you that you cant see that you’re the reason he isn’t talking to you.

The Four horsemen are

Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling they are detrimental to your marriage and if not changed will sadly end in divorce.